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The song that didnt write itself :(Sometime late Jun.05)
I sat down at work, after a weekend I'll never forget
To write a song about you.
I had a million
thoughts and feelings, endless material...but no words.
Im speechless, rendered speechless
And if I had the right words, could I used them?
Could I show you my perspective through this-
The song that didn't write itself.
Untitled By
Tony Nov./05
today i was living my life like a dead corpes
lifeless dead moitionless
i feel as i should no-longer continue my life i feel
like my life is going no where
and i like i should just die
i think i might do this
i think that i might do it
so that i can no longer give people the reason to look at me
i wish i was invisable
but i am not invisable i am as visable
ae you are
FUCK OFF
i am going to cut my wrists cut them slowly
slowly and painfully
i will bleed
bleed to the point where i am past out and lieing on the kitchen floor dieing slowly
and pianfully
why do i fell this way this way
this is a question that i can not answer
for that i do not know what my answer is
i believe that you should just leave
leave me so i can bleed bleed red
thick red blood that pours from my viens
why do i feel this way
i do not know why i feel like this
but i do
i wish i was in visable
SILENCE- Nov.9th.2004- 9:10am
Bitter sweet silence- words only hearts can hear.
Bitter in an arguement, longing for the long gone moments
of joy and simplicity.
Silent and teary eyed, unable to express the sweet
longing love under the surface. Passionatly despising
he who caused this hidden pain.
Silence...hides..secrets.
conceals fear,
and breaks the defendants heart.
Silence is the walls sorrounding the soul, the shell
of the bomb and the cold, hard sleepless bed.
A room filled with secrests, souls, hopes and dreams.
Fears, hates controversy and pain.
Silence is the language spoken between hearts.
Jacqui the superfly!
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Embrac
EMBRACE Dec.4/05
So many words i could place, into the feeling i try to express right now.
happy, lonely, scared, sad, joyful, restful, peace.
rush through my body like a mudslide
for no reason, seeking ease.
feeling your heart beat is the only motion
and my anxiety flees away.
and i am left with no percetion
or feelings; as they've all run astray.
I am left with nothing.
no hearing, no emotion, no sight.
I am left in total darkness
and pray for eternal night.
you have a hard time understanding
but at this moment you make me so much stronger
I desire nothing more in the world
then for you to hold me a little big longer.
you take away the world,
and at that moment I feel so safe with you.
I know you dont understand
but how I wish; you could feel it too.
but how i wish you could feel it too.
GRADE 10 (oh so long ago) Poetry stuff...
Rainbow (one of my faves!)xHeartheartheartheartx
In these clothes
Im a black hole in your rainbow
Everybody notices
Because I'm different
I like it that way
I'm not colourful
I'm a growing darkness
Devouring your colours
Pulling you into my darkness
I destroy your brilliant rainbow
With my absurd different ways
I am a new style of rainbow
Indulging in this
insane imperfection
Feb.14th 2002
Broken homes, broken hearts
falling tears, falling apart
twisted minds, twisted life
cutting soul, cutting knife
bleeding fingers, bleeding wrist
feeling hurt, feeling pissed
shaken body shaken mind
left alone, left behind
crying children, crying wives
shattered feelings, shattered lives
smoking bodies, smoking dope
losing your mind, losing your hope
reaching to death , reaching to be
wishing for love, wishing to be free
hoping for you, hoping to die
without your anger without a cry
taking advantage, taking your soul
leaving emptiness, leavig a hole
needing friendship, needing time.
needing you to just be mine.
Aug 11th 2004
Through words i am unable to express my love for you
My actions are but mild descriptions of the things i would do for you
Every time i meet your eyes is a thrill that overtakes my mind
your a drug i was destined to find
compassion is a powerless in comparison to my raw emotion
the world sleeps in a silent night,that spins around me as you hold me tight
and yet im silent and it may not show.
that i never want to let you go
Aone with Music (Grade 10 english)
Nothing else matters
When im alone with mucis
Bass flows through my viens
the beat pulses with my heart
and i can block out the world
Hands (grade 10 Engish)
Embrace starts with hands
you brush my hair from my eyes
Prass your cheeks to mine
touch your fingers to my lips
a kiss, to you i belong
Rainbow (grade 10 english)
In these clothes
Im a black hole in your rainbow
Everybody notices
Because Im different
I like it that way
Im not colourful
Im a growing darkness
Devouring your sun
Corrupting your colours
Pulling you into my darkness
I destroy your brilliant rainbow
With my absurdly different ways
Im a new style of rainbow
Indulging in this
Insane imperfection
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Eighteenth Cyclone Oct.10/05
So many decisions, so many directions
that I dont kno where to turn next.
Im lost in the cyclone of adult hood
What money? What account? Where? Where? Where???
How do I chose which path is the rest of my life,
when my current path is a cyclone itself?
I already hate eighteen.
I already hate eighteen.
So many decisions in so many directions.
Im choosing a new life, away from the one I presently have
Picking one of a thousand paths
Take me away from my kin and friends
The cyclone drops me in a new place
everything changes, a new world and new friends.
Nothing is forever.
My fantasy childhood life fades away.
I already hate eighteen.
What would you do? -By Jacqui and Kaitlyn Reid Jan.20/06
What would you do if you lost your shoe
in a quala bears tummy?
Go fishin in a pond and catch a fat frog
and name your pet frog Sonny.
Daddy: (written at age thrirteen)
I stare when i see your picture
lost in my own thoughts.
of how much i miss you
my mind is tied in knots.
are you really here?
are you still watching over me?
are you seeing all my tears?
Daddy are you proud of me?
Daddy are you still there?
do you know how much i miss you?
i hear you speak in my dreams and prayre
...i hear you daddy , i love you and i miss you too.
But daddy .. how i wish you were here.
Sonnet I : STORM (grade 10 English)
Dark blankets of clouds unfold,
and build themselves up stronger.
Growing about the past untold,
and the presents for so much longer.
Beyond the depths of the clouds at rage,
quick flashes of dilligent light.
And rumbles from the beginning of age.
Echo through the night.
Blue electric bolts clash
Forming one deadly stream.
Thunder rumbles and stats to smash,
creating a beautiful dream.
The clouds cry, oh how they cry,
Then silence, into the dark nights sky.
Me Plus You March 20th 2003
I dont wanna say its over, but what other choises do you see?
I dont wanna call it quits, but maybe thats just me
i wish that i could change the world so everyone could see
i wish that i could win you over, i wanna make you beleive
that me plus you; became my dream come true
Me plus you, theres nothing we cant do
Just me and you together forever we'll start brand new
just me without you, waking up from my dream come true
Missin you (song) May 9th 2002
Oh im standin here, and im so lost in my thoughts
my hearts beatin faster an my minds just a big knot
twisted and turned from where it all starts
from that dark moment when my heart fell into parts
And yeah here i am, once again out in the rain
and yeah i got that feeling that im losing you again
with the thunder at my shoulders and the lightin at my heels
the days lastin forever, babe you dont know how this feels
Sittin by the phone awaiting that magic call
your voice to lift my up to heaven
and never let me fall
all i want is you now to hold me in your arms
to tell me that you love me, keep me safe from harm
Chorus
And yeah im miss you; and baby i am torn
i need your tender touch
you were always so warm
Chorus
A POEM BY KAITLYN: Sept.21/05
Theres a girly whos name was whirly
she liked swirleys in the early days.
she had a cat named matt
and with that cat she bought a hat
now with the cat and that hat she went and found a bat
with her cat and her hat and her bat she went to mac's and seen her cat!
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WITHOUT MY SHOES( another fave! ) - November 2004
I wondered out into the dark night under the moon encased in a glowing scarlet.
The snow on the forest floor like broken glass sticking to the bottoms of my feet and tree braches coated with thick ice
dragging their dead boney fingers up the backs of my legs and across my shoulders.
A cold dry winds whisps at my nightgown and stimulates every nerve in my back. A violent shiver.
I trudge on uknowing of my destination.
Christmassy smelling pine brushes my face leaving its taste on my lips, I bother not to move it, i just keep walking.
I come to a clearing where moonlight seeps through the trees' crooked fingers.
As i come to the center i hear a faint music that grows louder, the world spins, or maybe it is I who spins. Im unsure.
Behind my eyes the forest and clearing and snow melt away into a dark meadow.
The moon lights it with tempting eyes.
The soft music swirls around me as a dim green fog and a dancefloor for the faeries.
Shades of glowing green spin around me with the fog.
The air smells of sweet grass and tastes of honey.
Seconds, hours, days go by.
I dance with the good people.
The light dims and the moon sinks into the everlasting beauty of the sparkling meadow.
The fog begins to float gently to the ground ,then dissapears.
The lights are gone and I'm alone in the quiet dark field.
My dream is gone.
I open my eyes slowely.
I'm back in the clearing, in the snow, without my shoes.
The moon that once befriended me is replaced by a glowing pink dawn.
The fresh snow in my clearing is littered with my footprints, though i dont recall moving.
My feet are numb and stining from the cold as though i had just stepped into it from my warm cabin.
I turn to leave and spot, from the corner of my eyes the snow shimmer.
I smile, it smiles back.
Then i begin the long trek home.
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